* my beautiful world *: May 2010

When I first won the lucky draw to free air-tickets & 3D2N spa resort accommodation to Siem Reap (Cambodia), I wasn’t exactly thrilled. Sure, I was happy about winning the lucky draw. After all, how many people have a chance to win a free trip in their lifetime? But I guessed I was happier about the win than the prize itself.

The first thing that came to my mind about Cambodia was war, danger, mines, poor & rural, backwards, and not forgetting, the crazily hot temperature. Being born pampered in Singapore, that country will never cross my mind for holiday. In fact, my dream destinations are USA, Europe, Japan, Hawaii – places associated with freedom, riches, developed, nice weather, nice culture, etc.

However, my personal experience in Siem Reap had changed my perspectives a great deal about life. I had been to backward countries like India, China, Indonesia, Thailand, & Malaysia, but nowhere had these countries impacted me as much as Cambodia. I had only stayed in Siem Reap for 5 days (comparatively short as compared to the other countries I had been to) but it had value-added to my values & beliefs. I may have enjoyed myself in my past holidays in developed countries like USA, Japan, & Hong Kong, but I realized that none of these trips had actually value-added to my life. It’s time I should consider about travelling more to the third world countries to broaden my perspectives in life & to add to their economy to benefit the people.

The people of Cambodia left the deepest impression in me for my trip to Siem Reap. Today, if you stand in the streets, you can still witness the traces of their past war hardship, evident through those mines-victims with their maimed hands & legs. You’ll even witness them grappling with the past & even current dire of poverty & hunger. Yet, behind each & every individual smiles you’ll see on the street, lies another inspiring story about their strength & courage.

Every 100 metres you walked in Siem Reap, there would be a tuk-tuk driver asking you if you want to take his tuk-tuk. After some time, you get a little irritated & spent the rest of your day rejecting them. Now, this young tuk-tuk driver (23 years old) had run to approach us to take his tuk-tuk. We weren’t very keen since we would prefer to walk about the city, & also, we were getting a little irritated with all the “Do you want a tuk-tuk sir?”. But then, he looked really young (like 16 years old), & our hearts melted when we see him working at such a young age. James thought we could always give him the opportunity to earn some dollars, & so that was how we hopped on his tuk-tuk & became acquainted.

We were very curious as to why he is working & not schooling when he should be at his age (of course we were asking a dumb question in such a country, but we were still curious enough to ask). Apparently, he had been to University, but he dropped out after his first year when his father died. After the demise of his father, his family situation had spiraled downwards, & not only could they not afford his school fees, they needed him to work to support the family too. So that’s how he became a tuk-tuk driver at age 18.

His dream is to return to University, but he can only see himself doing so at least when he’s in his thirties. He needs to work & take care of his family first, before he can even save up to return to school. He says the earliest he can do so will probably be in his thirties already. You can almost feel his aspirations & accompanying sadness of it as he spoke. He told us only a degree would guarantee a job, & he hopes to work in a good company with a business degree. Standing before us is a young man filled with such aspiration for education, & there was nothing we could do to help him fulfill his dream. Helplessness & sadness filled my heart. Before we departed, James told him we believe he would complete his University one day.

Meeting him made me realize how fortunate I am. My mom paid for my University fees in full. Although my dad had passed away too, I never had to worry that she could not support me through school (even though she had to slog all the way till age 65 to see me through). I believe that education breaks the cycle of poverty, but the problem lies in that they don’t even have the access to the key that will rescue them.

This tuk-tuk driver drove us for 2 whole days. He has a 3 months old baby daughter & a 3 years old son. While chatting, he told us that the government school system is bad as the teachers’ commitment is low due to their lowly wage. They’ll only come to school 3-4 days/week & aren’t very serious in their teaching. Hence, the students fare badly in school & could not make it to higher education compared to the private students. He said most parents would send their children to private schools if they can afford to. When I asked about his children, he smiled sadly & replied, “I don’t have money to send them to private schools. I can only send them to government school when they are 7 years old”. Being a mother myself, my heart sank. Which parent wouldn’t want his children to have the best education? Here, I was prepare to set aside $600/month budget for Charis’ pre-school at 2 years old, but this father here don’t even have money to send his son to a proper school until he’s 7 years old…

We then chatted about the street child beggars. It is a common sight to see mothers carrying babies around in their arms begging for money. He told us that some of these babies never grow up to learn to walk because they are always in their mom’s arms. These mothers need to be constantly carrying them in order to “earn” compassion from tourists. As they grow into a toddler, they lose that ability to walk for life. With their child crippled, another cycle of poverty sets in.

Being self-righteous & born in such a heavenly country, we could easily accuse these mothers of abusing their child in order to gain pity. We may even condemn this act of begging & getting their children to participate. But why don’t you pause to think for a while? As a mother, would you remain dignified & wait to see your child or even entire family starve to death, or would you be desperate enough to lower your dignity to ask for another $1? It’ll break my heart if I have to resort to get Charis to beg one day, & I believe every mother would. I can say now with all conviction that I will never get her to beg, but if times really require it, will I resort to it? Before you are adamant about your answer, think about your other children & husband who are at the verge of death, & every life now hangs on your decision. Do these mothers really have the luxury of option? These mothers had no control over whom they are born to be or where they are born in.

We were told so many times by Singaporeans & even online resources not to give to beggars before our trip. Being good Singaporeans, we obey what we were taught – & we were often taught that giving to them will only encourage even more begging, & it is not really dealing with the root problem. We agreed with them & we were very sure that we would do what was right – not giving to them. But when we were there, our hearts melt each time we see a beggar. Be it a mine victim, a child beggar, or even some kids selling trinkets on the streets. Can that $1 that we give bring bread to the starving family or is this kid just begging for an easy way to earn some money? Are we being conned? Are they working for a syndicate? I guess we will never find out the truth, but if that $1 can bring comfort to a starving family, I would choose to run the risk of being conned. We ended up giving to almost every beggar we promised we would not give to. Have we done the right thing? Till today, we could not answer, but at least there was an answer to our conscience.

We first spotted the girl in green top when we were taking shelter under a shop house due to the heavy rain. She went about in the rain, digging among rubbish bin fishing for probably food or even aluminium cans to sell. James, feeling moved, ran in the rain to pass some money for that drenched little girl. The next day as we were having our dinner, we spotted her a distance with another younger sister in tow. Somehow, for reasons we can hardly explain, we went about combing the nearby vincinity, hoping to catch them. When we found her in one of the alleys, she was lying on some cupboards with 3 other siblings. We bought some biscuits & gave them some more money. They cannot speak any English, which means none of them either attended school because they can never afford to, or their parents never allowed them to be “professional” child beggars (every child beggar can speak simple English in order to beg from tourists – their most common words, “I’m hungry Mdm/Sir. One dollar please? Please?). They are only one of the homeless families among the thousands of them.

All over Angkor Wat & the temples, you will meet young children pestering you to buy some souvenirs. He told us that because some of these children could earn money so easily this way, they don’t want to go to school anymore. They became enticed by the opportunity to earn quick money & for some, the current need to provide bread for the family surpasses their need for education. We were at a dilemma. Do we buy from them? Are we truly helping them or bringing more problems to them? Although we didn’t buy from every one of them (there were like hundreds of them, so we can never helped every one of them anyway), we did bought a few souvenirs that will end up redundant in our storeroom. I guessed sometimes when we give, it is not just to (hopefully) help them, & but also, to ease our conscience as much. It is generosity that comes with a little pinch of “self”.

One of those children we bought souveniers from.

The first tuk-tuk driver told us there are 5,000 tuk-tuks in Siem Reap alone, & only the tourists will use them since they are not affordable to the locals. During a dry season (like now), the tourists volume are low, & I estimate as much as ¾ of them will be left empty. We were his first customers for the past 5 days. Hearing this, we become more understanding whenever a tuk-tuk driver comes before us & asked us the same familiar question, “Do you want a tuk-tuk, sir?” We can choose to be irritated by their courteous pestering & replied curtly, or we can still reject them but with a smile that would hopefully brighten their day a little. Why should we be so quick to judge when people are just struggling to meet end needs.

Jobs had been few in this city, & there are many who are unemployed. For those who are still working, we ought to lend them a “helping hand” too. We ended up tipping the tuk-tuk drivers & the hotel staffs (most of them comes from the village or poor families) a few dollars extra each time. Wages are extremely low in this country, & that few dollars could be their half a day’s wage. If I can forgo a MacDonald meal so that a father could buy a toy (if he could have the spare money to) for his beloved child, I would love to. In USA when we were there for a holiday, we tipped because we had to. Tipping is not required in Cambodia, but it is there that gave me the opportunity to experience tipping from my heart. Tipping that made all the difference. Tipping that lit up their faces (yes, you can see that literally!), & knowing it made a difference in someone’s day.

This young man was our guide on our chartered boat to the floating village. Halfway during the boat ride, one of my earrings fell into the holes between the planks of the floor. There was no way to retrieve it unless we plied the long wooden planks open. This guide immediately came over when he sensed I had dropped something into the bottom of the boat. He then tried for the next 5-10 minutes trying to ply & remove the floor planks. When he was finally able to remove the plank, to our great surprise, we were greeted with a huge pool of dirty river water accumulated over time at the boat floor. In order to retrieve the earring, it means he got to dig his hands into the bottom of the boat & get his hands dirty while fishing for my earring in that muddy river water. James asked me if I can forgo my earring. It was really unimaginable & probably cruel to expect him to do such a dirty deed for me. But that was an expensive earring (cost $79 for some piece of silver dangling on my ear) & it was one of the birthday gifts by James. I shamelessly but guiltily asked if he could help.

Within a second, he was on his fours, extended him arms into the gap of the planks & trying to fish out my “precious” earring among that ugly looking pool of water. When he finally fished out my “precious”, he simply smiled & handed it over to me through his soiled hands. There was no expectation of rewards from him except for my smile. If this had happened in Singapore, I strongly doubt if there would be any good Samaritans like him who would go on the way out to do a dirty deed, & also expecting nothing in return except for my smile. This is Cambodian’s nature – simple & warm hearted. A Cambodian just made my day, & each time I put on my earring, I can’t help but to remember that there are people like him in this world to make it a better place.

We visited a “floating” school in a “floating village” (a poor community living on a lake in boats). We bought some food for them to bless them & the smiles on the children’s faces were worth it.

This mom & her little girl was begging for money from us as they approached our boat at the school. Look how her face lit up when I gave her a packet of biscuit.

A local film company was shooting a movie in the hotel that we had stayed in, & we bumped into their shooting. We were extremely curious & asked if we could view the set. They were shooting a scene & their staffs warmly ushered us in with all excitement as much as ours. Such were their hospitality.

One of the actors even volunteered to take picture for our camera as we posed with one of their famous star (I don’t even know his name, but the hotel staffs were telling me he’s a big star in Cambodia). They have no airs, no arrogance, or whatsoever. The next morning, we bump into their set at the hotel lobby again. The staffs & even the stars smile & wave their hands at us out of recognition. Another reason for us to fall in love with them.

We didn’t actually give a lot during the whole trip, but we receive a lot from those we gave to. Thank you to each & every one of them who had taught me about life in this trip. When they thought they didn’t have much to give, they gave me the most precious of what they have – their stories, their inspiring strength behind each adversity, their warmth & hospitality, their smiles (I think they deserve the title of “Land of a Thousand Smiles” as much as Thailand do).