Mummy & Baby not doing well :'(

Our gynae went through the 5 months detailed scanning results yesterday night, & we found out there were some complications for the baby...

I'm having low blood count, so that explains why I'm having giddy spells & headaches so often. But I guessed my condition have improved since the previous blood test as the frequency is less often already. I have have a risk of high blood pressure :'(

But baby's condition is not so positive. The blood vessels from the placenta that flows to the baby is far too thin, hence resulting in resistance in the blood flow flowing to the baby. The blood vessels don't just carries blood, but also oxygen & nutrients. Hence, the baby now has a lack of all these essentials & this will affect her development. What worries me is that baby may has a shortage of oxygen...

I have to take on a medication - aspirin, usually taken by heart problems & stroke patients. This medication will thin my blood, hence reducing the resistance in the blood flow, so hopefully baby can receive the proper essentials better. But this medicine has 2 side effects. First, it will cause gastric. Second, it will cause bleeding. Eg. my gums may bleed more, i will bleed alot if i get cuts. The most worrying is that I may bleed alot during delivery of my baby. Although I will stop the medication at week 36 so that my body will have time to thicken the blood again for the next 4 weeks, but if I were to have a early miscarriage, then the bleeding problem can't be helped. I'm also not sure if there will be any side effects for the baby. After all, medication is never good for the baby... that's why doctors never advised pregnant woman to take medication if possible...

Every mother would love to have a healthy baby, & my first thoughts was, "Is it my fault? Maybe it's because I haven't been eating well? Was it because I'm so skinny?" My gynae says the baby's condition has nothing to do with me or my diet, but it's her genes actually. My second baby may not even have this problem since every baby has their own genes. Well, it kind of comforted me a little. But I know that people around me will feel the mummy is at fault... someone commented it must be because I didn't eat enough nutritious food... Please... I'm already sad enough, please don't point fingers at me. When such things happen, the saddest is me, so please stop blaming me :'( or nag at me ok?