It's been almost 4 months since my last entry. I always got a lot of things to write, but had never gotten to writing them down. Since my pregnancy (yes, I'm 5 months pregnant now!), I'm easily tired & lethargic, hence became quite lazy to pen my life down... =p But when I chanced upon Molly Lee's (1975-2008) blog yesterday, it greatly inspires me to blog again, & this time to be more open about my life.
I first heard about Molly when she emerged as the Channel Newsasia's Singapore Woman Award winner last year, 2 months before she passed on. During that time, I only know her as a woman who fought against her ovarian cancer courageously & was also an inspiration to other cancer patients. However, I saw the news reported on her again yesterday though she has passed on almost a year ago. An endowment fund had been launched in memory of her, so I thought she must be more than what I thought she was to leave such a legacy behind. Out of curiosity, I decided to read her blog for the first time. Hers had greatly impacted me, so I strongly encouraged you to read her entries too (http://www.wearewonderwomen.com/).
What inspires me the most about Molly Lee is not just her courage to fight against a deadly sickness, but her simple love & faith in God too. When her cancer relapse again, there were moments when she doubted God (she's just another real human being). The title of one of her entries was "healing is not God's plan for everyone".
Yet, through the months of battling with this terrible sickness, she never gave up her faith in God even when there were moments when she doubted. Her love for God is simple & pure & tested. When her doctors told her that she had no chance of surviving the relapse this time, she continued to trust God instead of her circumstances. Her last entry before she passed on was titled "the will to live by the grace of God". That was the most inspiring entry to me.
Sharing with you an excerpt from the entry,
"... I prayed to God whenever I had pain. My prayers were usually short like, 'God, please heal me.' ... Miraculously, whenever I said those prayers, God will always take away my pain. God sent angels (my sister and mum to take care of my daily needs) and a good TCM physician to treat me. God has also taught me to live each day by itself and learn to trust him in all situations.
My name is Molly. I am a Christian of 12 years. This is my testimony."
I always think that life has been tougher for me than my peers. I had gone through more valleys in my life than others, though I'm thankful that these experiences had made me a better and stronger person. Yet, Molly made me feel ashamed of myself. If I am ever diagnosed with a sickness, will I ever stay so positive? Will I still trust God despites of my fears? Will I still live my last days trusting Him? Her last 2 sentences on her last entry of her life kept me thinking... I am a Christian of 10 years. What testimony will I leave behind?
Hence, I decided to blog again! If one day I am no longer around, I would love people to remember my life through my blog and I pray they may experience the love and reality of God (be it during the good or bad times of my life) while they are reading my entries. I would also love to leave behind something for my hubby & baby to remember me for.
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