Last Friday was my first cell group meeting after my labor. I was physically tired from taking care of Charis, working, & going to the hospital to visit my brother. So during the preaching, I had to try very hard to keep awake. I saw James yawning a few times too! ;) But I was really glad I'd made it for cell group meeting. I didn't realise how much I missed the presence of God until we worship Him after the preaching. It dawned on to me that the presence of God is my home - that's where I belong, that's where I grown up in. God spoke to both James & me. When I'm soak in the presence of God, just hearing His voice & Him reassuring me of His love is good enough. I don't even need Him to give solutions for my situation anymore.
The next day was just as awesome. I finally got to meet my JAMs students again! =) I didn't tell my N11 students beforehand that I was going to turn up because I was hoping to give them a surprise, so I was a little disappointed when some of them didn't come on that day. Some of them asked me about Charis, and it made me very happy :) I was happy not because they asked me about someone who is precious to me, but I was happy because it shows that they have learn to be interested in others & to care for them too. It brings joy to me to see that my "children" have "grown up".
On the same afternoon, I attended church service. Pastor Zhuang said, "Don't stay in your valley, but walk through it. Keep walking." I like that! I'm not going to stay, I am going to walk! As what he said, "we are planted, not buried". Whatever buried is dead, but whatever that is planted will birth forth in due season. I am going to bring life into my situation at God's timing!
Yesterday, I went out with some of my close girlfriends. One of them is going through a difficult time too & she is fasting for 40 days. That's a person who don't sit around and moan, but is actively depending on God. Sometimes she may become emotional again, after all, she is human right? But I know she will come out of it stronger.
I was really happy to be able to hang out with my girlfriends again. I am determined that I'm still going to have a life even though I have Charis now. I just have to make more effort. Motherhood doesn't mean your life just evolve around your children. James and me are already planning for our next honeymoon :) & I am also making sure I get back into shape by losing those "pregnancy fats".
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